


I'm Not Naive

by Fandomtrashed13



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy References, Martha deserves the world but the world doesnt deserve Martha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-28 03:01:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomtrashed13/pseuds/Fandomtrashed13
Summary: naive(of a person or action) showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment.(of a person) natural and unaffected; innocent.





	I'm Not Naive

   Martha Dunnstock isn't naive.

   Yes, she may seem slow at many things and  _yes_ she said the wrong answer in class with utmost confidence, but thats besides the point. And besides, academic intelligence isn't what she's talking about. No, she's talking abut common knowledge that is written in invisible instruction books in invisible ink that has probably been around since the dawn of time. Its the instruction books that have been drilled into the heads of million of generations and have also been drilled into hers.

   So, lets start with that.

   It wasn't until her freshman year did she finally drew back the curtains about  _don't care what people think_ and _just be you!_ that she realized that the world was not full of kind souls or helpful people. No, she learned that teens her age were into action movies, the latest fashion, and whose into who. Martha was still stuck into the world of princes and talking animals and horses with wings that fly you away from your problems. While others traded their overalls and goofy skirts for jeans and classy sweaters and dresses that showed off "the ideal figure", Martha continued to stick to her unicorn themed shirts and Tinkerbell Cosmetics and side ponytails. And she saw in magazines how the adults connected illegal and outrageous topics to teenagers like underage drinking, drugs, and sex. What bugged her was that they made it seem as though sex was something teenagers would eventually do because "it made them closer to adulthood." Not every teen wanted to "pop the cherry" or "dip in."

   But opening the curtains also reviled something that upset her greatly.

   The ideal body.

   Suddenly, it was like society expected girls to loose their chubbiness from their childhood and go on with their lives with a flat stomach and toned legs; and society will only except chubbiness if its from a mother of more than one child or a little girl who is still playing dolls. Girls in high school were suddenly obsessed with with a tiny waist, skinny arms, bog boobs, zero love handles, zero stretch marks...

   And some achieved it and if you did than congratulations you have the body  _anyone_ would die for! Martha could see why because _who_ would want pale skin marred by angry red lines creeping from your hips and waist?  _How_ can anyone want a chubby face with the smallest traces of acne? _Why_ would anyone find short, chubby legs appealing?!

  Martha tried to ignore it, but the kids- _people,_ she reminds herself, _people-_ constantly hurled reminders to her that she was fat, she was as large as a hippo  _no a whale_ , she caused earthquakes just be walking and that no one would be her friend, ever. Heather Duke was her friend but than she lost a few pounds, gained a few in her chest and boom-Heather suddenly had cooler and more socially acceptably people to hang out with, leaving Martha behind.

   Except Veronica was always there. Veronica was there to dry her tears and hold her, whispering that no matter what its your personality that matters, not your size and how she's not alone. Veronica was there to shout at the bullies and defend her. She was more of a sister than a best friend, really, and Martha loved her like one. She woke up with the knowledge that someone saw her as the _real_ her and that was enough to get her out of bed and to keep on smiling. For a time, she was happy and somber days ceased to exist. Then they returned when Veronica began to sit with the Heathers, dress like them, not come to Movie Night and downright ignored her for God knows how long! And when she found out the truth about Ram and the supposedly "sweet note" she had felt so _hopeless_ , so  _betrayed,_ so _naive._  Martha had written _that_ note in a daze, barely aware of the graphite words on the lined paper and letting anger and hopelessness walk her to the Old Mill Bridge where no one was there for her.

   She had failed there too. For some reason, that left a bitter taste in her mouth that had nothing to do with the pear she was eating. 

   But after she had woken up, it was nice to just sit in a hospital bed and watch her favorite movies with her parents who never, ever once left her side except for food and bathroom. Well, her mother stuck to her side while her father talked to numerous doctors and physiatrist about Martha. And although she hated the idea of going to see her own psychiatrist she couldn't argue with her parents, not when they looked at her like she might turn to dust and be blown away.

    But she did argue with Betty Finn about going to the prep rally. She didn't want to go and let people see that Martha Dumptruck had _finally_ gotten wheels or some other dumb joke. Betty argued that a healing person needed fresh air and that staying in the same environment is not healthy. They went back and forth like a tennis match until Martha finally agreed. She was tired, so tired that she didn't bother to give any attention to the snickering popular people who saw her death as nothing but a poor imitation of Heather Chandler.

   The loud boom from outside had caused everyone to halt and stare at one another in confusions. What was happening, what was that, did someone get hurt? Betty had wheeled Martha into the crowded halls and while Martha gazed quizzically around she heard her bespecalled friend gasp loudly. Looking up, she saw students parting like the Red Sea to reveal a soot-covered, bedraggled Veronica with a lit cigarette hanging out of her house and a blank look in her eyes. "You look like hell," Heather Duke proclaimed. Martha agreed.

   Looking back, Martha wondered why she forgave Veronica. Maybe it was because of how exhausted she look, maybe it was because she felt sorry for her, or maybe she just missed her friend that much. And it  _was_ true. When she and Veronica had embraced, she felt tears well up in her eyes. And when they had gone to her house to watch  _The Princess Bride_ Martha thought that everything would go back to normal. Things did, but everything felt off-kilter about everything. Martha still couldn't figure out why she was so forgiving. After all, wasn't some of the things that happened to her was Veronica's fault.

   Martha furrowed her brow as she wheeled herself back and forth in her room, a habit she developed. Is that how Veronica and others viewed her? Some saint who never gets angry, always forgives, who is some silly naive girl clinging to the straws of childhood? She was so much more than that! She wasn't some doormat! She'll show them, those people who think that Martha just forgives and forgets and wears pink. Starting tomorrow, she'll assert herself, raise her voice, maybe examine her current relationships and try to fix them-

    "Martha? Veronica's here." Her mother gave her a small smile before disappearing down the hall. Veronica gave Martha a smile, a grocery bag dangling from her left hand and her backpack slung over her right. Probably carrying the necessities for their sleepover tonight.

   "Hey," she greets, smiling friendly smile like she hadn't driven Martha to suicide, like she hadn't stopped the Heathers for tricking her, like she hadn't been with a boy who had blood on his hands-and maybe her owns because who know- _and had almost killed an entire school, like she hadn't-_

   "We need to talk," Martha said and she didn't feel sorry at all at the faltering of that friendly smile.

   She's not naive.

   

**Author's Note:**

> Damn, I r e a l l y jumped the gun here.  
> The Heathers fandom disappoints me cause they don't give Martha the recognition and attention and love she deserves. And I don't believe that Martha would forgive Veronica after all of that. I just wanted to give Martha more depth bc I feel that people see her as some forgiving saint when she probably watched The Shining without screaming. That movies creepy ya'll.  
> So   
> yeah  
> Enjoy!


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